What Are Some Steps to Take when Forgiving Someone Who Deeply Hurt You?

4/22/2020

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Brittany Toomer

4/22/2020 10:09:14 pm

For me, I'm not easily offended. I've read a lot of books on how not to have an offendable heart. I look at why the person hurt me, and what was the root issue that caused that hurt. 99% of the time, the hurt isn't even about you as a person.

So I'm quick to forgive because Jesus forgave me.

So I would say, #1 - why were you so hurt by what they did? I would pray and search my heart to figure that out first.

#2 - if I know that person well, I may know why they hurt me because of their past. So I can forgive easier.

If I don't know the person well, I may ask them why did they do that? To understand the root cause.

Then I would forgive either way. Sometime I may not ever figure out why they did what they did, but that's not really mine to have. What I would seek is clarity and peace about the pain they caused for whatever reason.

Desiree Warren

4/25/2020 09:37:59 am

I think we have all been here. We keep focusing on how hurt and deceived we are, which fuels the anger at them.

We need to first realize that it is not about us. We then need to realize sometimes we can not forgive in our own strength. You can't but God can through you. God told me that once when I ask Him how can you forgive someone that is still hurting you. He said for me to let Him show me how to love in and through the hurt. Ohhhhhh😖

This is soooo hard. However it is much like God does with us daily. We daily do things that displease and hurt Him, but he consistently shows us Love🤗 We can do it too, but we must ask for and follow his direction.

It is so worth it! It also gets easier the more you do it.

Eric Toomer

4/25/2020 05:19:52 pm

Another good question here, I'm glad you said ''deeply'' because there are levels of forgiveness for real. If somebody explodes on you because they're having a rough day whether you know them or not, that's a little bit easier to forgive because we've probably all been there before, but abusing someone physically is A LOT harder to muster up enough gumption to forgive said person. I'm one that believes and TRIES to live by Luke 17:3 where it says, ''if our brother or sister sins against us, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them''. Now the next verse Luke 17:4 says that, ''even if they sin against you 7 times in a day and seven times come back to you and say, ''I repent,' you must forgive them.'' It's hard for folks to apologize i.e. ask for forgiveness in the first place when they're wrong because their ego won't allow them to do it many times. Now when Jesus said to continue to forgive them if they ask for it after sinning against you, that is a hard one because nobody likes to be played for a fool, but forgiveness to me is not all verbal. I'm a big believer of forgiving someone quietly as in you don't reciprocate the pain they caused you and you just won't rock with them the same way and that is a different meaning for folks so that'd be my 2 cents on the manner.

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What Are Some Steps to Take when Forgiving Someone Who Deeply Hurt You?

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